Understanding Fatherhood | Pastor Lanre Jooda
More often in today’s world, men need to start asking the question, Why did I get married?
I am not sure if we have given it much thought before now but if we did, may be we haven’t ruminated over it as much as we ought to. We have learnt from various teachings that, ‘for everything under the earth there is a purpose’.
God never does a thing without a purpose.
Lets talk about the subject of marriage, why do men get married? I know we can provide a lot of reasons as to why, but there are some certain reasons regardless of where you are from, how old you are and what you do for a living. But let us deal with the one we can easily agree on. I believe some of us got married with the aim of raising a family but this should not be the only good reason why some of us must get married. Getting married must also be for companionship and fellowship.
Fellowship is a two way affair, some of us don’t understand fellowship in the context of our relationship with God and what we normally do is a one way relationship with God. Getting married because you want to raise a family is brilliant and very wonderful, but it must not be the ultimate, because you have been in existence before you got married and very soon there will be fruitfulness which is wonderful, but then it will come to a time when those children will grow up go to either boarding school or to the university, also get married too. And after then what happens next, you and your wife will be back to where you started from.
The great and better reason for marriage is for communion and fellowship. You and your wife have been together right before the children came, and they will leave you where they met you and of course you will only remain with your wife, I am talking to the men now, you must understand the purpose of getting married, more also you have to be very careful of how you nurture the relationship you have with your wives.
When Jesus was teaching in JOHN 6, He taught about a lot of dangerous theological principles, in JOHN 6:48 He talked about the bread of life, JOHN 8:56,58. Before those children came your wife has been, your husband has been those children will leave home that is your prayer and that is my prayer and it will remain only your wife and yourself. Another perspective to this topic is the fact a man must be responsible, responsible in terms of having a job and before you commit yourself into marriage, you must have a job. A message to the young ladies who are not yet married, if a man wants to marry you and he doesn’t have a job, even if he said he has received a confirmation, politely tell him to go and get a job first. Don’t marry a man who has no job in his hands, it is not scriptural and it doesn’t matter how well spoken he is, how well dressed he is.
GENESIS 2:7,8,15. We see that God created man and gave him a job first before creating a woman for him, because most of us have lost track or never knew the purpose of the marriage union and we are abusing it, one thing for a fact is that God never does anything without a purpose, if you don’t know the purpose of a thing then you will abuse it. It is important to go back to the basic which is asking ‘why am I getting married? Because of the lack of understanding that purpose, there are things we do that sends a message to our spouses which tends to create a gap.
A communication gap will of course transcend from what it is to every aspect of the couples lives and the closeness and strong bond that everybody once enjoyed especially when you were courting each other has now wither, for some it has totally disappeared. More reason why you will find a man and his wife living under the same roof as co-tenants, why? because they never knew the purpose of marriage and they began to fight each other.
So therefore, my brothers and sisters marriage is a beautiful but before committing yourself into getting married endeavor to know the purpose of marriage.